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Why you should talk about death and dying with your loved ones

Advance care planning is all about making decisions about future health care while you can still choose for yourself.

BOISE - It's often an uncomfortable subject, but death is something everyone should take the time to discuss with those closest to you.

We make decisions every day, for example what to eat or what to wear. So why not take control of your death?

Margie Zamzow, a registered nurse specializing in end of life care at Saint Alphonsus recommends we start thinking about how we want to die right now.

"What types of treatment you would want, what type of things are important to you at end of life?" Zamzow said. "Are there spiritual needs, are there some religious preferences that you would want to honor if you were end of life or not want to receive?"

It's called advance care planning - making decisions about future health care while you can still choose for yourself.

They are complicated and uncomfortable questions, but part of an effort by hospitals, like Saint Alphonsus, to create more patient-centered care.

The State of Idaho began to raise awareness about advance care planning a few years ago with the initiative, "Honoring Choices Idaho." Zamzow holds informational sessions throughout the community.

"It's peace of mind," she said. "Families that I've seen who have not made these choices early on really struggle at end of life and sometimes they fight. But when everyone can sit around the table and say, 'You know, I know what mom would want,' and everyone is in agreement, that makes life so much easier. And those people have much less severe grief after the loss of a loved one."

Part of the planning involves writing an advance directive for health care - a written plan that states the kind of end-of-life treatments you want to receive and the kind you want to avoid should you become unable to communicate your wishes.

In Idaho, your advance directive does not have to be witnessed or notarized. However, it must be in writing, signed and dated. Honoring Choices Idaho has a number of resources and guidelines online for you to complete your own directive.

"Just like any other decisions you make when you think about getting your life in order for your family," Zamzow said.

Naming a health care agent is part of advance care planning. That's the person you choose to make medical decisions on your behalf if you're unable to communicate.

"That's when those treatment options are so important to be written down because if you show up in the hospital with a serious illness or terminal state, oftentimes you're not able to make clear choices," Zamzow said.

And while talking about death may be uncomfortable now, the peace of mind it can bring in the future will be worth it.

"Everyone will need this information at some point in their life," Zamzow said. "We are all on the same path. You can either be in charge of the path you're on or you can let someone else make decisions for you and they may not be what your preferences would be."

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